xBrokenmindedx

I always sit and wonder to myself, “What Group am I?” now what I mean by this is the thought that run through peoples heads to try and determine who I am.
See, I’d consider myself to dress at times quite emo/scene kid and then there’s days where I just look casual and I’m classed as “normal”
Now, I’ve said in my past blogs that im trying to move college to get a new start for a various of reasons. A main one of these is because of branding, as I’ve being in the same school/college for the past 3 years and the people from there knew me the 3 years before from our local highschool its pretty hard to create a new image of ones self when wanted.

In year 9. I was considered a boff, these where geeky kids who hung around with all your stereotypical “loosers” who didn’t go out drinking etc… and who didn’t wear the latest trends, did ALRIGHT in class and basically… A boff was not what I wanted to be. I only had 3 close friends in year 9, all of which I lost as they “changed” like I did.
So year 10 was a new school and I had many choices infront of me. A new school, a new image! Now, I know I was going to go for a Rock orientated brand but again there was so much choice!

Emo – These kids seem very colourful and childish with the things they wear. Now when I say colourful, they always tend to wear dark dark clothing but mix it with a bright colour! For example red and black is a popular combination! They’re also known for wearing a lot of eyeliner =/ So apart from image, emo’s are stereotypically people who keep to themselves and have a lot of feelings (EMOtional)

Skater – These are quite obviously the skaters, also BMXs and bladers. They’re a lively crowed, tend to get on the wrong side of things. Clothing is usually baggy jeans, van shows and plain tops with hoodys. Yep that’s them!

Goths – Black. Dark. Vampire like people who scare me.

Scene kid – Now a scene kid is VERY familiar to that of an emo kid. The only difference being they are a lot more social you could say. Quite often known to be “myspace whores” They wear their hair BIG and colourful and wear the same clothes of that of emo’s

So in the end, I hung around with the skater kids … they were popular and for the first time in years I had A LOT of friends. I loved it, but I got into some bad stuff with them, I started drinking a lot and doing some other stuff that you shouldn’t try until your atleast 21! I also started dressing emoish and got picked on a lot for this.
Now through year 10 and 11 I was fine being with these guys as they were my backup … but secretly I was a nerd and when at home I did my hardest to do al my homework etc. Most these friends didn’t get into year 12 where as I did… and that’s why I found it hard to shake off this image of being a skater … as I was alone I was the odd one in the bunch who always got bullied.

Looking back on it all I question, did I even need to make that choice?? Nobody around where I live actually knows the TRUE me. Infact, there are only 4 people who know who I REALLY am and that would be :

Toni my friend who lives around the corner and went through the same problems as I did. I still hang around with her as much as I can and I love her to bits! She always seems so cheerful and full of life even though her brand is, “Dirty depressed emo who slits her wrists” (she doesn’t btw) … shows what somepeople know *rolls eyes*

Spencer. My best friend from stoke! Ahaha this kid is amazing and I speak to him about almost everything! Past relationships. Sex. Crushes. Current relationships. College. God. Clothes. Youtube…. Ok lots. Ahaha. He’s always there for me!

Benjy, I met him a few months ago and we’ve being speaking nearly every day since. He’s a nice lad! Seems to make me smile a lot… when we first spoke I admit he didn’t know the true me, but after spending a week with me. He’s seen it whether I wanted him too or not.

Mum. N’uff said.

I’ve left college and I should be starting a new one very soon… and I make it my intention NOT to lie about who I really am. Be proud of the music I listen to, the friends I have, what I wear, my size, my makeup.

Right now, I’m just ME and life has never being anybetter.